The 2010 American Federal Census showed 15 million children being raised without a father and 5 million more children being raised without a mother. Twenty million children! To the detriment of our country and its children, we are seeing the results of so many fatherless children on the nightly news.
As previous owners of a number one rated restaurant, we’ve seen these results first hand; children without manners, children making the decisions for the adults at the table, public temper tantrums, and the list goes on.
An article from Fox News showed that without the benefit of a stable father in the home, the daughters of these families were sadly missing a paternal influence which showed them how to grow into decent young women. Further, their research showed that fatherless girls were highly susceptible to:
- Lack of self control.
- Outward displays of anger and belligerence.
- Looking for emotional connection, they ted to become sexually promiscuous.
- Becoming vulnerable to sexual exploitation from predators pretending to fill their emotional needs. Girls whose biological fathers are missing often go looking for the unconditional love and words of encouragement their fathers could have given them.
- Multiple marriages.
Sigmund Freud said, “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”
Without a loving father’s influence an abandoned girl is also more likely to:
- Participate in school and neighborhood violence.
- Be prone to suicide.
- Drop our of school.
Yes, there are plenty of courageous single moms raising wonderful, contributing daughters to society, but the odds are not good.
Fatherless daughters suffer terribly from low self-esteem. Without her father’s reassurance, she experiences far-reaching consequences to her abandonment. She begins looking for that “OK” signal from boys, who may not have her best interest at heart.
“The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human, as a man who created a child and then, by his absence, left the child fatherless and then Godless.” Anais Nin.
The best thing we can teach our daughters is found in the bible. It is the father’s God-given responsibility to give wisdom and guidance to his beloved little girl. Proverbs 22:6 “Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he (she) is older he (she) will remain upon it.”
Normally a caring father would teach his daughter how to recognize a good man and ignore men who would be her downfall. By doing this, the father strengthens the family bonds and prevents family dysfunction. A father’s role in the family is vital.
In describing what a good man is, 1 Timothy 3: 2-5 A good man is one whose life cannot be spoken against. He must have only one wife, and he must be hard working and thoughtful, orderly, and full of good deeds. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and must be a good Bible teacher. He must not be a drinker or quarrelsome, but he must be gentle and kind, and not be one who loves money (to the exclusion of all else). He must have a well-behaved family, with children who obey quickly and quietly.”
In a fatherless home it now becomes the appointment of the mother to hold down a job, raise her daughter with good values, teach her about God and give her sound advice and direction. This is difficult at best. America needs its fathers to step up and be accountable.
Family dysfunction often begins with a missing biological father. I had one, my mom had one and her mother had one. The actions of all these father relatives of mine have harmed the women of my family. You can see that family dysfunction run wild for generations. Whether it was a father’s alcoholism or infidelity, these missing dads produced daughter in pain.
Let me leave these uplifting prescriptions for healing with you.
- Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain. (Meaning there’s more to a good life than a woman’s charm & beauty)
- Psalm 46: 5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when the morning dawns. (whether dad is present or missing, a woman always has a loving God to turn to)
- 1Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
- A mother’s treasure is her daughter. Catherine Pulsifer
- Good daughters make good mothers. Abagail G. Whittlesey
- A busy mother makes slothful daughters. Portuguese Proverb
God loves you and will help you heal your fatherless daughter.