How To Finish For Walls

The walls of your home are never mere enclosures for your furniture or dividers between rooms. You and your family live with your walls every day of your life. They influence your selection of furniture and, frequently, your moods. The range of wall coverings is so wide that there’s little reason why any family shouldn’t have exactly what they like. Whether you choose the dignity of mahogany or walnut paneling, the color and easy maintenance of ceramic tile, the luxury of leather or the simplicity of paint, you will find it all easy to apply.

Wallpaper

Because of its variety, attractiveness and ease of application, many homeowners each year turn to wallpaper when redecorating. Washable papers, many already trimmed, offer a handsome finish with a long-lasting surface. Ceiling wallpapers create interesting decorative effects, and the fabric- supported type of paper not only hides imperfections in the ceiling but, as the house settles, the paper stretches and conceals minor cracks.

You can easily improvise a long table for pasting by putting a panel of plywood right over a table or laying it between two sawhorses. You will also need a 6′ stepladder, seam roller, scissors, sponge, razor and handle. One particularly useful tool is a steel straightedge. A plasterer’s mitering rod works best, but you can make one yourself from 14-gauge steel.

It’s about 4 by 10″, with a beveled or mitered side. The long edge is slightly sharpened, assuring a snug grip on the paper to be cut and a much neater result.

All surfaces to be wallpapered should be dry, smooth and even. If the wall was previously papered, remove all loose paper and edges and sand along seams to avoid ridges later. Lapped seams should be stripped with a razor, then sanded. If the wall is of plaster, check carefully for holes, bulges and cracks, and mend any defects, remembering to apply wallpaper size to new spots of plaster and any unpainted, dry, porous plaster. If the wall was enameled or finished with a glossy paint, roughen it slightly with sandpaper before papering.

If your paper is not pre-trimmed, mark matching guide lines with a light pencil at both ends of the roll. Then trim off the edges, using a straightedge and razor or scissors. To cut wallpaper to size, measure the distance from ceiling to baseboard molding and add 3 to 4″, always watching pattern to make certain of matching edges. If a length of wallpaper does not fit properly, it can be removed easily by just lifting it off. The paste remains pliable and 1 doesn’t dry for a few hours.

Don’t throw away extra pieces of wallpaper which can be used later to cover switch and outlet plates. A screwdriver, scissors, some rubber cement and ten minutes are all that are needed. First, take out the fuse which controls the current to the light switch box at which you’re working. Then remove the two small screws holding the plate. Line up a piece of wallpaper over the open switch box, match the paper pattern, and cut a piece 1″ larger all round than the opening. If the paper is not washable, spray it with clear plastic so that subsequent fingerprints can be easily removed.

Apply rubber cement to the back of this paper and lay it with pattern side down. Now place the plate over the back of the paper with the plate front turned down. With a sharp knife or razor, cut out an opening for the switch toggle. With an ice pick or the tip of a knife, puncture holes for the screws which hold the plate to the wall. Trim corners diagonally so that there will be a smooth surface when the 1/2″ fold of the wallpaper is pressed over the back of the plate. Apply rubber cement liberally to hold the side pieces in place. The plate is now covered and can be put back.

Plastic Wall Coverings

Extraordinarily resistant to household stains, particularly oils and greases, vinyl plastic is one of the most practical materials available as a wall covering. Upkeep for a wall of vinyl plastic is at a minimum. Made in the form of yard goods, tiles, simulated stone or brick and other designs, it easily conceals wall defects and irregularities.

If the walls were previously oil painted or enameled, they must be “pearlashed,” that is, washed down with a potash solution. Your wallpaper or paint dealer can supply the compound. If the walls were previously water painted, calcimined or whitewashed, they should be gone over with a wire brush and a strong detergent. This will assure a good clinging surface for the new covering. If the walls were previously unpainted, scrape them with a wire brush to remove all loose particles and wash with a strong detergent to remove any grease and dirt. If walls were previously papered, make sure there are no loose edges or peeling paper, and apply a coat of glue size, allowing it to dry thoroughly before applying the vinyl.

Fabric Wall Coverings

Cracks in the plaster, uneven ceiling lines and spaces in the corners where the walls have settled, can all be brought under control with a fabric wall covering. It helps the plaster underneath to hold together. Available in pretrimmed 24″ widths, all you have to worry about is cutting it to the right length. The straight edge makes it easy to do a perfect butting job instead of overlapping the strips as is done with ordinary stock. The procedure for hanging fabric wall covering is exactly the same as that for any other wallpaper.

Wall Panels

Relatively little in the way of building materials can surpass the effect obtained by the use of vertical boards – knotty pine, golden oak, redwood, to name but a few. When you visit your lumber yard, be sure to buy no grade lower than No. 3 common boards. Below that standard, the boards will have loose knots, splits along the grain and bad ends, causing waste. Lower grades may also warp badly. If you are selecting knotty pine, be sure all knots are small and not protruding on either side. Reject boards with long knots which have been sawed off along their lengths. Boards should be free of warps and twists, as they will be if properly stacked in the yard.

After delivery, stack the lumber inside the house at the future room temperature, if possible. Do this at least one week before putting them up. While stacking, examine both sides and choose the side you want to use as the surface. Paint the other side with a colorless wood preservative to prevent undue absorption of moisture through the otherwise unfinished back after the wall is up. Then stack the lumber with small blocks between boards at 4′ intervals along their length. This permits air to reach all sides.

While the lumber is drying, put the walls in shape. If you plan to put the wall up vertically, you will need furring. If you plan setting up the boards horizontally, then no furring is needed, but mark the location of wall studs so you can find them to nail into later. Plywood panels and preassembled sections of board wall materials also require furring for secure anchorage.

Begin the job in one corner. Nail up the first board with the tongue edge out of the corner. Face-nail (through the outer surface of the board) 1″ from the corner edge into furring. Then drive finishing nails (preferably 8d or l0d) at an angle through the tongue where it joins the boards and into the furring. Set the nails just below the wood surface with a nail set. The second board is placed against the first, the groove pressed over the tongue of the first, and then tapped tightly into place with a block of wood held against the tongue as a pad to prevent hammer marks. Nail up through the tongue as before. No more face-nailing is needed.

Cut all boards at least 1/4″ less than the distance from floor to ceiling so that, if dampness later causes them to swell, they will not bow in the centers and pull free. For an adjoining wall, the first piece is set into the corner, the groove end butted against the first board put up and face-nailed, then nailed through the tongue as on the first wall. In most cases, putting up a board wall raises the surface beyond its former limits, which means that some extra treatment around doors and windows is needed. Before applying boards to these areas, remove the original casings and put up 2-by-2’s of the same material as that selected for the wall, setting them flush with the inner surface of the window or door frame. These, plus the furring, will provide a flush surface when the final wall boards are butted against the 2-by-2 strips. New casings of the same lumber as the wall can then be cut and applied over the 2-by-2’s. You should treat the areas above doors and windows in a similar fashion.

Various treatments of the top and bottom of wood panel walls may be used. Some sort of trim is needed. A horizontal baseboard – 3 to 4″ wide – is one form. Or a minimum of 1″ quarter-round to conceal board ends may be preferred. At the ceiling line, a narrow (2 to 5/2″) crown molding may be suitable, or 1″ quarter-round to match a corresponding base. An l-by-2 strip may also be used as a substitute where total absence of curved surfaces is wanted.

Plastic-surfaced hardboards make an extremely attractive, easy-to-clean finished wall surface. They consist of a hard, semi-luster plastic surface which has been baked onto a tempered hardboard base. They never require decorating and they can be cleaned with only a damp cloth. Follow the photographs on the next page for installation.

Peg-Board

Perforated hardboard, known as Peg-Board, is available in standard-size panels and may be cut with a hand or table saw to any size you need. A favorite of space-crowded homeowners, its interchangeable, self-locking metal hangers make it possible to hang up objects as heavy as a lawnmower or as light as a hat. You can use an entire wall in a room or a closet – or a small waste space – for storage or display. Perforated hardboard, finished on one side or both, can be painted with brush or roller, using any type of paint. Peg-Board l/8″ thick is adequate for most uses. The only precaution you need take in its installation is to use framing or furring strips thick enough to provide adequate hanger clearance in back of the board. For 1/8″ Peg-Board, you need 3/8″ hanger clearance. To attach the board to studs or walls, use nails, countersink holes and fill with putty – or use screws through existing holes.

Ceramic Tile

You can use either of two methods to secure ceramic tile to a wall:

1. Make a stiff paste out of standard cement, preferably white Portland cement, mixed 1 part to 2 or 5/2 parts clean fine sand plus water. Thoroughly wet the wall surface and the back of the tile. Then apply the paste and set tile in place.

2. On the other hand, you can use a plastic adhesive. The black is waterproof while the white is not. Both types are available at the local hardware store. However, make certain that the wall and tile are perfectly dry before applying the adhesive.

How to Draw in Easy Steps

Learning how to draw step by step is a good way of practicing form and getting yourself well acquainted with the basics of drawing. It doesn’t matter whether you are doing professional art to design a building or cartoon drawings for a comic strip – there will always be a simple step by step format that you can follow.

Even the most critically acclaimed artists follow a step by step process. This helps them keep track of their work and ensures that the end result perfectly reflects what was in their mind. There are a lot of ways of drawing and a lot of steps to try but here is the most basic step by step process that a lot of professionals and tutorials suggest.

Step #1: Start with Shapes and Lines

Don’t worry about the detail of the person’s clothes or how their eyes will look. First you want a perspective of their shape, how they are posed, and the general outline of their body. To do this, use basic shapes like circles, rectangles, and triangles. A circle or an egg can represent a human face and then their body can be done with a rectangle. Focus on their size, the way the limbs are positioned, and the general shape of your drawing.

When doing the basic outline, make sure you are using faint lines. A hard pencil like an HB or a 2H will be perfect. The lines drawn by these pencils are faint and easy to erase.

Step #2: Pencil in the Details – Adding Volume

You’ve got the skeleton of your picture done now it’s time to add in volume. Take your HB pencil (nothing lighter) and start going over the outlines to add in the details of your drawings. This is the stage where you add in the eyes, the curve of the lips, and the general outline of their clothes.

Keep it all simple. Don’t focus yet on the shading, lighting, or any emphasis on the details. Don’t worry about adding complex lines to their clothes or edges to their faces. Just add in the important stuff for now.

Step #3: Adding Emphasis

For many this can be the third and final step. Use a good eraser like a rubber eraser or Blue Tac. Never rub your eraser on the paper to make changes. Doing so only takes off the upper layer of the paper and can ruin the quality of the page. Blue Tac is the best alternative – simply press down on the line you need to remove and it will literally catch the graphite off the paper. This avoids any damage on the paper you use.

Adding emphasis takes time. As you are erasing the guidelines and other lines you no longer need you will also be adding in extra details. This is the step where you add in shading and lines to give emphasis. All those fancy textures you find in professional drawings are done in this final step. However, if you want to add color or really bring your drawing to life, there is one more step.

Step #4: Computer Editing

You could use ink pens to manually add colors and many prefer to do so. Some use water colors and others use paint or even crayons and colored pencils to achieve different effects. However, the most in-depth editing and coloring is done on a computer.

Photoshop is the golden nugget in editing since it has all the tools you need and it is the most widely used editing tool. You can use it to correct lines, erase markings your eraser couldn’t, or add in shades and colors that are not possible with ink pens.

My Particles Are Dancing!

” Oh sun, rise. Particles are dancing. I see headless, footless spirits dancing with ecstasy. Some are dancing at the dome of the sky. Come close. I’ll tell you where they are going.”

That’s Rumi speaking from the book, “Crazy As We Are,” written by Dr. Nevit O. Ergin.

Rumi certainly had a way with words. Dancing is the motion of freedom; it connects me to the sound of my inner music, which is constantly playing in awareness.

Rumi was the original dancing mystic; he connected to his inner self by twirling, and this dance became the art of worship for his followers. Dancing has been used for centuries by cultures around the world to honor and worship a higher power.

Dancing takes me to a free zone where I can be myself and share my freedom with others. My body moves in gestures of playfulness and lighthearted actions that come from within me. I am in another place; a place of well being where there is only a feeling of my spirit gliding through the air of physical existence. Dancing is the art of lifting my ego to the door of awakening. Dancing makes me feel good; it brings out another part of me that bonds with the world around me. I am a particle of ecstasy floating with other particles that reach out and touch the stars. Dancing with the stars I become one of them in the artful movement of oneness. My consciousness is free to focus on other moments of reality and refresh my purpose of existence. The dance changes me into what I have always been but forgot I am; a dream of grand expansion.

The philosopher Friedrick Nietzsche explains dancing this way:

In song and dance man expresses himself as a member of a higher community; he has forgotten how to walk and speak and is on the way toward flying, dancing into the air. His very gestures are of enchantment… He feels himself to be a god, going about in ecstasy, exalted, like the gods beheld in his dreams… He is no longer an artist, he has become a work of art. In a paroxysm of intoxication the creative power of all nature has come to light in him at the highest rapture of the one that is All. Nature, with its true voice undissembled cries out to us: “Be as I am! I, the primordial ever-creating mother amidst the ceaseless flux of appearances, ever impelling into existence, externally finding in these transformations satisfaction.”

So it is. The dance brings me the feeling of joy; it brings me the emotion of excitement; it entertains my spirit and I become who I am. The music is always playing all I need to do is hear it and get up from my seat of loneliness and dance. My dance fills the cracks in my thinking; paints my world with brightness and showers my reality with abundance.

May I have the next dance with you?

History and Clothing in Ancient Japan

Japanese history includes alternating periods of isolation and revolutionary influences from the rest of the world. As early as the Jomon period from about 14000BC to 300 BC, Japan had a hunter-gatherer lifestyle; wooden stilt houses, pit dwelling, and agriculture. Weaving was still unknown and the ancient Japanese clothing consisted of fur. However, some of the world’s oldest pottery is found in Japan, along with daggers, jade, combs made form shell and clay figures.

The period thereafter to 250 BC saw the influx of new practices like weaving, rice sowing, iron and bronze making influenced by china and Korea. Chinese travelers describe the men ‘with braided hair, tattooing and women with large, single-piece clothing.’ Initially ancient Japanese clothing consisted of single piece clothing. The ancient and classical Japan begins from the middle of the 3rd century to 710. An advanced agricultural and militaristic culture defines this period. By 645, Japan rapidly adopted Chinese practices and reorganized its penal code.

The peak period of ancient Japan and its imperial court is from 794 to 1185. Art, poetry, literature and trade expeditions continued with vigor. Warlords and powerful regional families ruled ancient Japan from 1185 to 1333 and the emperor was just a figure head. By the Japanese Middle Ages, Portugal had introduced firearms by a chance landing of their ship at Japanese coast; samurai charging ranks were cut down; trade with Netherlands, England and Spain had opened up new avenues. Several missionaries had entered Japan as well.

Distinct features of the lifestyle, ancient Japanese clothing and women is difficult to decipher for the simple reason that it is super-imposed by the Chinese culture. Ancient Japan readily adopted other cultures and practices and most of its own culture is lost among these adaptations.

Ancient Japanese clothing was mostly unisex, with differences being in colors, length and sleeves. A Kimono tied with an Obi or a sash around the waist was the general clothing and with the advent of western clothing are now mostly worn at home or special occasions. Women’s obi in ancient Japanese clothing would mostly be elaborate and decorative. Some would be as long as 4meters and tied as a flower or a butterfly. Though a Yukata means a ‘bath clothing’, these were often worn in the summers as morning and evening gowns. Ancient Japanese clothing consisted of mena and women wearing Haori or narrow paneled jacket for special occasions such as marriages and feasts. These are worn over a kimono and tied with strings at the breast level.

The most interesting piece of ancient Japanese clothing is the ju-ni-hitoe or the ‘twelve layers’ adorned by ladies at the imperial court. It is multi-layered and very heavy and worn on a daily basis for centuries! The only change would be the thickness of the fabric and the number of layers depending on the season. Princesses still wear these on weddings.

Since the Japanese people don’t wear footwear inside their homes, tabi is still worn. These are split -toe socks woven out of non-stretch materials with thick soles. Clogs have been worn for centuries in ancient Japan and were known as Geta. These were made of wood with two straps and were unisexual. Zori was footwear made of softer materials like straw and fabric with a flat sole.

Ancient Japanese clothes, culture and footwear are slowly regaining their popularity with the western world. There is an honest curiosity in knowing more, wearing kimonos or using silk fabrics with beautiful floral prints from the ‘land of the rising sun’.

Illustrated Love Making Positions – Pictures Are Helpful

Illustrated love making positions can contribute a lot in the overall experience. As you know different love making positions give stress on different areas and therefore the experience you get varies according the positions. But the most important point is to experience the whole procedure with satisfying penetration and good after and before love making effects. But love making positions can contribute a lot in the penetration part and not in the whole process of love making.

Some of the love making or penetration positions are given below with other details. Please note that after you explore these explanations go for illustrations, since they will help you better understand how to practice them perfectly.

  • The wheelbarrow is the position where the man stands and the woman’s leg stays on the man’s shoulder level and the rest of the woman’s body should be in a lying position on something which matches the height of the male partner. This position hits the right spots of the woman and people who are athletic and with healthy heart can try this posture.
  • Side by side position is good for those partners who like kissing, touching and cuddling while intercourse. In this position both the partners stay by each other’s side and can stay in the closest contact of each other.
  • There are few positions which can be used for the deep penetration which couples want occasionally except few. Deep penetration gives both the partners new sensation and urge to feel penetrated more than before. In the deep penetration posture the lower body of both the partners stays closest. One such position is where the lady lies down with her legs almost touching her head or in a 90 degree angle and the male partner penetrates to give and achieve the deep penetration.
  • Missionary positions are the common positions which the couples use in the regular sex life. Generally both the partners lie down and face each other in this kind of position but there can be changes like woman’s legs parted and one leg facing upwards.
  • Woman on top positions are good if the woman is strong enough to continue the penetration for sometime. However, this posture gives the female partner control over the speed and depth of the penetration and she can adjust according to the satisfaction level. In this position woman lie on the male partner and do the penetration movements.
  • Cat and doggy style are different styles where the partners move to the positions like a cat or a dog standing with their four legs touching the ground. Here the partner penetrates from behind the female partner and closeness of the lower body is very near in this position.

However, there are many love making positions, you need to choose from them according to you and your partner’s suitability and satisfaction and go on for illustrated ones since pictures will help you mastering the art of love making.

What Is an Adult Coloring Book?

Introduction

At the time of writing this article (August 2015), a quarter of Amazon’s top twenty best-selling books are coloring in books. So what is an adult coloring book, and how is it that they are currently outselling top fiction authors with new releases such as E.L. James and Paula Hawkins?

Adult coloring books are, very simply, coloring in books for grown ups. Like children’s coloring books, they are full of outline illustrations designed to be filled in with colored pencils, markers, crayons, or whatever other media you wish to use.

What’s in an adult coloring in book?

The main difference between adults’ and kids’ color books is that the grown up versions generally feature less juvenile images and designs. Instead of superheroes, barnyard animals, and television characters, adult coloring in books are more often filled with:

  • elements of the natural world, such as trees, flowers, leaves, gardens, animals and insects;
  • geometric designs;
  • psychedelic patterns;
  • repetitive ‘wallpaper’ type patterns;
  • cities and buildings;
  • anatomical drawings;
  • goddesses, angels, and mermaids;
  • mandalas; and
  • celtic designs.

There are also many ‘theme’ specific books available, featuring diverse subjects such as cars, steampunk designs, and Art Nouveau patterns.

Why are they so popular?

A Scottish illustrator named Johanna Basford published a coloring book called Secret Garden in 2013, featuring pages of beautifully hand-illustrated ink drawings. The New York Times reported in March that a Korean pop star named Kim Ki-bum posted a photograph on Instagram of a ‘delicately colored-in floral pattern’ from Secret Garden. At the time, Ki-bum had a massive 1.8 million Instagram followers. The post went viral and helped to ignite the craze.

The growth in popularity of the books reportedly has much to do with adult relaxation and stress release. Many adults who use the books report that they find the repetitive, low-stress nature of coloring in to be soothing, relaxing, and a way of de-stressing away from the pressures of life and work.

Among the other benefits of adult coloring in books, they also claim to enjoy recapturing the nostalgia of childhood by engaging in an activity usually reserved for children. It takes people back to a simpler time, and can also be a way for parents to connect and bond with their children by sitting down to color in with them. Of course, many parents have been happily coloring in kids’ books for years, but now they have choices that are not limited to Dora the Explorer or SpongeBob SquarePants.

In summary, coloring for adults appears to be a growing past-time that allows adults to relax and unplug from the stress in their lives, by engaging in a hands-on activity that involves minimal commitment and maximum nostalgia.

6 Awesome Backdrop Ideas You Should Be Using on Your Blog

You definitely have seen those eye bobbing photos on blogs and on social media; be it Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter and so forth. It goes without saying that the said photos have an awesome foreground subject but more to that, they have a remarkable backdrop. Enter the custom backdrop and you have an eye catching way to highlight the subject while adding character and warmth to the photos. Custom backgrounds also create brand identity and consistency.

If you are looking for backdrop ideas and make your blog and social images stand out then we got you covered. Here are some awesome ideas;

Foam Boards

Foam Boards are the easiest way to create clean backgrounds for your photos. You can pick foam boards for less than $10. Foam boards are also light and easy enough to move around. The boards can also be used in different colors to add vibe to the picture.

Textured Vinyl Backgrounds

Textured vinyl makes for awesome quick fix backdrops. You can get different textures and colors to make a variety of backdrops that would look awesome for blog photography.

Vintage and Textured Fabrics

There is an airy feel and warmth that textured fabrics add to photos. You can make your backdrop by using old curtains, scarves, hand towels and muslin clothes arranged well. You can take plan photos of the fabric then use it as custom background for the photos you will take over time. This adds a lot of pattern, color and texture to photos that just makes the images pop for attention. Vintage and Textured Fabrics are especially awesome for crafts, foods and fashion accessory blogs.

Paper goods

There are millions of blog images out there that use paper as backdrops. You can use wrapping paper, wall paper or manila to customize eye catching backdrops. You can get paper from a craft store near you. If you don’t like it plain, you can print out patterns on the paper.

Glitter

To use glitter, you first need to have a plan surface. You can then go ahead and mess up the plain surface with sequins to make an amazing product background. Avoid using glitter as background for cloth because much of it may be stuck on the fabric.

Home furniture

If you have wooden furniture or floorboards in the house, you can use them for a brilliant backdrop. Look around the home and you will be amazed at how with small alterations in the arrangement, you can customize awesome eye catching backgrounds for photography.

Conclusion

Whatever you do, keep it simple and cost effective. The good thing is that this is a work of art and you can get as creative as possible. The key is to make sure you blend the colors well and ensure there is symmetrical balance between the backdrop and the subject of the photograph.

Different Types of Entertainment

Before we look into different types of entertainment, first let’s define what entertainment is. Entertainment is any kind of activity that provides amusement for people in a passive way, other entertaining activities that involve participating are considered recreation or hobbies.

There are many types of entertainment for particular tastes, for example we have cinema, theatre, sports, games, social dance, concert, comedy shows, animations, impressionists, clowns and the list goes on and on.

These form of entertainment can than be divided into groups according to the age and interest of the people being entertained. For instance we have child , adult , live action , public and corporate entertainment. In this article we’ll give a brief explanation to some of these forms.

Child Entertainment

Kids need to be entertained and some times the entertainer or the entertainment agency needs to find a balance between mental and physical activities. Clowns, puppets, pantomimes and cartoons tend to appeal to children, though adult might find it enjoyable too.

Adult Entertainment

Adult Entertainment many times is related to the sex industry, but this form of entertainment can not be related only with the sex industry and its branches. Adult Entertainment involves things like music concerts, live sports, opera and a hand full of other activities that kids might not find so appealing.

Live Entertainment

This form of entertainment is broadened to all ages as there are a variety of activities that can labelled as live entertainment. For instance music concerts, live TV shows, live sports, theatres and any other activity that you could think of that is aimed to amuse people.

Public Entertainment

Nowadays probably one of the forms of entertainment that have grown the most, thanks to the economic downturn. When you walk around any major city around Europe you will notice a wide range of public entertainers working for any amount of money the public decides to give them. There are public entertainers of all sorts from mimes to Peruvian Flute bands all working with the uncertainty of how much money they will make, that is why they tend to be more common in major cities where there are more tourists.

Corporate Entertainment

Aimed for corporate events, private parties, award ceremonies, product launches and it is better organized by a professional entertainment agency as most of time these events involve hundreds maybe thousands of people and no one better than the professionals to take care of these form of entertainment.

With these we cover the major forms of entertainment n the following article I’ll explain in depth each one of them with more details and examples.

Characteristics of Bad Public Speakers

Congratulations! You’ve set your sights on a lofty goal, being one of the worst public speakers imaginable. It will take a while and require a lot of practice, but if you do your best at being the worst, soon nobody will want to hear you speak in public. Follow these simple rules, and you’ll soon develop a reputation as one of the worst public speakers around!

1) Mumble and Speak Softly: Good public speakers want their messages to be clear and precise, easy for listeners to follow, so in order to be the worst you need to be as incomprehensible as possible. Mumble when you talk and speak softly, so that none of your listeners can hear what you say or understand your words. If even the front row of your listeners has to lean in to hear you, you’re doing a great job.

2) Avoid Eye Contact: The last thing you want to do is look at the audience; they might mistakenly understand something you’ve said, or at least think that you genuinely want to connect with them. Instead, look almost every place else; the ceiling, your shoes, the walls, or behind you, away from the audience (perfect if you have a chalkboard or white board to stare at the whole time). As long as you are looking somewhere other than towards the audience, they’ll get the clue that you’re really not interested in them.

3) Move Constantly While Speaking: Whether it’s a simple nervous twitch or full blown pacing up and down the stage or other public speaking area, you want to make sure that you never stop moving. Not simply walking calmly or making a few hand gestures either; you want to be moving frantically and unpredictably, one minute circling the stage, the next minute waving your arms around randomly. At no point do you want your movements to have anything to do with what you are talking about; the less sense your actions make, the better.

4) Don’t Practice Beforehand: The very first time you say your speech should be when you are on stage, looking at an eager audience who expect you to talk like a professional. Even if you are an expert on the speech material (and why would you give a speech on something you know when you’re trying to give a bad speech?), if you don’t practice what you want to say, you’ll be sure to struggle with the speech, making long pauses as you try to find the words you’re seeking, and fill the speech with ums and ahs.

5) Don’t Write Down Your Speech: While we’re on the subject, you definitely don’t want to write down your speech or any notes about what you want to say. If you have notes, you might stay on track with your speech, covering the material you wanted to cover, and generally staying on track. If you do keep papers on you during your speech (perfect for if you need something to look at rather than your audience), make them random and unorganized, flip through them at regular intervals, and read the most boring and irrelevant parts throughout your speech.

There you go; if you want to be a horrible, atrocious, and downright bad public speaker, all you need to do is to follow these simple rules, and you’ll be widely known as the worst speaker by anyone in your audience. Keep it up for a few speeches, and nobody will ever ask you to speak again! (Or, you could do the exact opposite of what this article says, and you’ll end up giving a fairly solid, well liked speech. Why you would want to do that, I don’t know, but the possibility is there if you want.)